To My Last Bite

I could hear the chants of “Kooo-bee…Kooo-bee…Kooo-bee!” I was in the kitchen and about to sit down in front of my television for some good sports on my favorite channel, ESPN. It wasn’t Kobe Bryant or even Cobi Jones…it was Takeru Kobayashi who the fans chanted for. Kobayashi, Sonya Thomas, Eric Booker, Rich Lefevre, Cookie Jarvis, Levi Oliver and the rest of the International Federation of Competitive Eating (IFOCE) took to ESPN for the Alka-Seltzer US Open of Competitive Eating.

ESPN on a Saturday night? Watching these people shove food down their own throats was amazing and also disgusting. Each round they went one-on-one with another competitor devouring different kinds of foods. Cheese fries, salad, pasta, potato skins and big party platters.

My biggest problem with what they do is that ESPN and people are calling this a sport. How and why? I understand what they’re doing is difficult – but it’s not a sport. Maybe they should stick to calling it a ‘competition’ or even an ‘eating challenge’. Kobayashi won in the finals to defeat the “Black Widow” Sonya Thomas easily after she moved into the finals. These people travel all over the country and world to face off in different eating challenges…rice balls, baked beans, cabbage, hot dogs, hamburgers, Marconi and cheese…and on and on.

I didn’t have any problems when ESPN started having the X Games – those people do some incredible things. The Great Outdoor Games too – good stuff. But the IFOCE? C’mon – it’s a joke. I’d rather watch a repeat of Kenny Rogers shoving a cameraman or Roberto Alomar spitting in an umpires face.

Bottom line, the IFOCE is not a sport and ESPN (The Worldwide Leader in Sports) shouldn’t broadcast it and call it such.